16 Days of Action Against Gender Based Violence – Get Involved with Scottish Women’s Aid!

Ellie Hutchinson, Scottish Women’s Aid

The 16 days of activism against gender based violence run from the 25th November – 10th December. These 16 days encompass the International Day to Eliminate Violence Against Women (25th November), World AIDS day (1st Dec) and Human Rights Day (10th Dec). This fortnight and a bit focuses activists, governments, charities and individuals on celebrating and supporting survivors and remembering those who were killed in acts of gender based violence. Every year a theme is set to guide groups and make connections across countries and continents. This year, the theme is militarism. Exploring the links between violence against women and girls and war, peace and the military… please read more by clicking here.

At Scottish Women’s Aid, we’re working with a whole range of organisations; theatre and film groups, Edinburgh University, MSPs and other violence and women and girls charities on a range of events. We have –

  • A film screening of the Whistleblower alongside the Filmhouse, Scottish Refugee Council, Amnesty International Scotland and WILPF, and details of this can be found
  • A evening lecture with the School of Social and Political Studies at Edinburgh University
  • A seminar with the Scottish Commission for Human Rights.

Aside from these thematic events, another piece of work which we’ve launched is a survey on so called ‘revenge porn’- or, as we’d like to call it “non-consensual sharing of intimate media”. More of a mouthful, but it tells us much more about what is happening. It’s not about revenge and it’s not about porn. It’s about humiliation, manipulation, coercion and fear. If someone has threatened you with sharing images, films, photos, or any other file or has shared those files without your consent, it’s not ok. It’s not your fault and we are here for you. You can fill out the survey by clicking here.

This survey is the first of its kind in Scotland. We’re hoping to find out more about people’s experiences and what our next step should be. How have services responded if people have come forwarded? What do those who have been victimised in this way think about the issue? Without asking those questions, our answers will always be incomplete. To really tackle an issue, we must ask the people who have been directly affected by it.

That’s what the 16 days of activism helps us to do – put women and girl’s front and centre of all our work. When we remember women who have been killed by men, and celebrate those who are able to fight for equality and freedom, we must hear women’s stories, value their voices, learn from their experiences and work together in solidarity in order to achieve freedom from violence for all. For more information on what we’re up to this 16 days head over to our blog here.

Healthy Relationships and Dating Abuse

by Ellie Hutchinson, Scottish Women’s Aid

Healthy Relationships and Dating Abuse

I’m the prevention worker at Scottish Women’s Aid, and this means I spend pretty much all my time thinking about violence against women. But I don’t just think about the causes, I think about solutions. The bottom line of all my work is everyone deserves to be safe and secure and have healthy relationships.

Healthy Relationships
So what is a healthy relationship?  A good starting point is to think about our relationships with our friends. What values do we look for in a friendship? Do we look for trust, humour, respect, empathy? Or do we look for possession, jealousy and control?

Most of us would look for the first list- but many of us might forget those values when we’re in romantic relationships. Thinking about why that might be leads us to explore how we learn about relationships- both romantic and non-romantic. Programmes or films that talk about friendships show people supporting each other in crisis, having fun and just generally hanging out.  Programmes or films that feature sexual relationships tend to show a very specific way of “doing” a relationship.

Unhealthy Relationships
Next time you see a film or a music video about sexual relationships think about- what do those people look like? What are they doing? What are the things they are valuing in each other? How are they talking about each other? To each other? Quite often it is possessiveness, jealousy, ownership or treating people as sexual objects. If a friend told you what to wear, who to see, how to talk, how to have sex (or not) it wouldn’t feel ok. And it’s not. And it’s not ok for a partner to do those things either. That’s why in one of our projects we asked young people to tell us what a healthy relationship means to them, why they “get it”. To find out more click here.

How to Speak Out
Most of us know what a healthy relationship looks like, but it can feel hard to get that when we’re faced with so many messages to the contrary. It’s also really hard for women and girls to speak out, because if we do so we might be labelled “uptight” or much worse. But dating and domestic abuse isn’t a woman’s issue, it’s a people one; and we need boys and men to help us and speak out too.

Speaking out can be tough, so here are some suggestions on how you might want to get involved:

  1. Challenge sexism in your friends. We run a bystander programme to help people think about how they might do this. Check it out http://togetherwecanstopit.org/get-savi-resources/
  2. If you see something that promotes unhealthy relationships and you’re online, share it  on twitter with the #notbuyingit hashtag, or forward on to @everyday sexism
  3. Think about the media you do read/watch/buy- what is it saying about relationships?
  4. Support folk when they tell you about unhealthy relationships. Find out more http://www.togetherwecanstopit.org/wp-content/uploads/downloads/2010/11/SWA-Supporting-Someone.pdf
  5. If you’re a man and want to speak out, check out the #notthatlad campaign from us, the NUS and White Ribbon Scotland. http://togetherwecanstopit.org/news/im-not-that-lad-creating-an-alternative-banter/
  6. Read up on the issue. Find out more about dating abuse http://www.scottishwomensaid.org.uk/advice-information/advice-information-young-people/dating-abuse

We believe that by doing one thing, we can stop domestic  and dating abuse.